Seclusion of Parties.

Article By: Johnni K Ramsey
Article Date: 08/24/2010

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. I was sitting with another mother, we will call her Agnes, as the hostess of a summer swim party approached us and I was thanking her for including my child. Carol, the hostess, said that everyone just loves Destiny and that they would never leave her out. Agnes chimed in how her daughter also just loved helping out and being around Destiny. Agnes also agreed how she couldn’t believe how people would be so mean.

Can you imagine how hurt I was, when my child was standing next to me and I opened the page on an internet social networking site, and there were all of these pictures of so many classmates and their parents enjoying the party that Agnes had been planning and talking about as we sat together that day.

People are sending their children the wrong message. When the schools and families are fighting so hard for inclusion and then we have these parents who are secluding our little ones. Children live what they learn and it breaks my heart, because I know that I am not the only parent out there that this has happened to.

These same parents are in charge of boys groups and girls groups. They send home all of the invitations at the beginning of the school year…”We want you”, but do they? I know as the parent of a special needs child I feel like I have to pay her way into things, and they sure don’t think twice about taking my money! But do they really want my child? How is that fair to us knowing that we are paying the same fees to join the groups and then they bring home the “fun things” that they got to do and hers is not finished. Yet, you stand there holding so many others and they are all saying the same words to you that my child is, but it was obviously not the same time and attention given. Because my child is standing there with a few things on her page and everyone else is thanking you for all of your help. Seclusion or Inclusion? Thank You, Thank You for what? My child has feelings too.

My heart breaks for these children and I wonder how much of this they realize. I know that it is far more than I give them credit for.

So, I hope that someday that our children with special needs are included, but until we educate these parents that our children are not going to “damage” their child, our children are in Seclusion of these parties and events.